“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning – lousy hunter.” – Andy Rooney
Lousy hunter or not, at the Gorilla Food restaurant, the only hunting that you will do is for the next dish to try out. With a delectable selection on their organic, raw vegan menu, Gorilla Food will certainly give Vancouverites a brand new insight into the concept of going vegan.
You can download the this week’s edition in PDF format HERE (or grab the full newspaper HERE) or just keep reading (the unrated version) below.
Episode 1 – Bring on vegan
Image cutline: Everyone loves Moroccan, even the Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi who has a penchant for 17-year-old Moroccan show girls. The Morroccan Rawkin Olive Pizza pictured above goes for $8 a slice and comes with a layer of black olive tapenade and topped with a walnut ‘cheez’ crumble and spicy crushed chilli almonds.
There’s a war going on. A war for your wallet, your mind, your heart and soul. Big business fights to own every last bit of you. Fortunate for you, there is a resistance.
I’ve been captured and shackled by the raw vegans. Their intent is completely unknown to me but given that I’m the purveyor of all things fine, whether it be a ribeye steak or a bottle of the finest champagne, I can only guess this abduction is targeted.
Organic, vegan and raw is their mantra and it looks like for the next little while, I better get used to it. I go places and eat whatever they want me to eat. It’s not always fancy – I would rather die than eat another raw asparagus, for example. One shining light in my routine is this place called Gorilla Food, located on Richards Street just below Pender Street.
Although, despondent at night, I scan the empty area of my camp, hoping to find discarded Burger King or some glimmer of hope. I never find it. I think to myself what type of depraved character denies themselves of the simple pleasures in life? After all, isn’t meat one of those pleasures? Interestingly enough, although almost completely raw vegan for the last week, I’m not feeling sluggish, tired or near death at all. To the contrary, my body is flexible, I’m alert and sleeping quite well at night, dreaming only of when I’ll see my next strip of bacon.
Gorilla Food has helped me keep sane during my short captivity. Their menu holds an impressive 50 plus items. They have raw vegan smoothies, burgers, pizza, sweets and more. The pizzas are dehydrated, wheat-free and gluten-free. They feature a sprouted sunflower seed, buckwheat, carrot and flax seed crust topped with a savoury sun-dried tomato herb sauce and your choice of flavours. A brilliant choice on daily basis – they’re now open seven days a week.
Raj Taneja is part technologist, part entrepreneur, part social media thought leader and part foodie. Has he lost his mind? Find out more on twitter, his username is @tinhead.
