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Or so the eBay listing is titled. What’s unique about this listing is that in the package, you also get to pay for someone’s breast augmentation and tummy tuck. Oh, and she’s married and looks to be committed so it ain’t that kind of deal.

Here’s the meat of the listing:

BEFORE I GET ALL THESE MESSAGES ABOUT BEING GREEDY OR TRYING TO MAKE IT RICH, LET ME EXPAIN BEFORE ALL THE PRE-JUDGING BEGINS. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM WITH A 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND TWO BOYS 3 AND 10 MONTHS. I HAVE MADE ALL THE SACRIFICES THAT I NEED TO MAKE TO GET BY AND STAY WITH THEM. I CUT AND COLOR MY OWN HAIR, CUT THEIR HAIR. I SPEND HOURS CLIPPING COUPONS AND LOOKING FOR SALES. I DO EVERYTHING THAT I CAN TO KEEP THEM OUT OF DAYCARE. I’M NOT LAZY, I USE TO WORK 3 JOBS FOR ABOUT 7 YEARS. BELIEVE ME, ITS EASIER WORKING THEN STAYING AT HOME! ANYWAY THE REASON I’M ASKING SUCH A HIGH PRICE, I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A TUMMY TUCK AND BREAST AUGMENTATION. MY HUSBAND TELLS ME IF I WANT TO HAVE IT DONE WE WILL JUST FINANCE IT. I CAN’T DO THAT WITH OUT GUILT. SO MAYBE I’LL GET LUCKY AND SOMEONE WHO HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO SPARE WILL ALSO LOOKING FOR A NINTENDO. WHO KNOW’S?? I FIGURE IF YOU DON’T ASK…YOU WON’T GET IT. SO I’LL TAKE A SHOT AND MAYBE IT WILL BE MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. SO THANKS FOR READING MY STORY, AND PLEASE DON’T BE SO MEAN AND SEND ME NASTY EMAILS.

The Q&A section, especially comical:

Q: You’re so broke but it’s completely necessary for you to get a tummy tuck and a breast augmentation. What are you SMOKING?!

A: i’m not crying poverty. i simply don’t have the extra cash for selfish cosmetic surgery. I don’t smoke.

Q: Seriously, if this is an attempt to get attention the from everyone, then this is it. This is quite GENIUS actually…very BOLD to boot. Don’t worry, this is NOT a hate mail. It’s just hard to believe that you actualy want to sell this item for THAT much…in addition, you want the money for a tummy tuck AND a breast augmentation???…WOW, you couldn’t even lie about a heart surgery instead???, which led me to believe that this was just some publicity stunt. I have a feeling that I’ll be hearing about your auction in the near future. It is unfortunate though that you spent your hard earned cash to put this auction up, which is MOST likely NOT going to sell. So…is it worth it? or…WILL it be worth putting this up? Because so far you’ve ruffled up a bunch of peoples feathers. As for the sale…well, good luck to you there.

A: I don’t want publicity, actually I’m shy. I’m honest and I know what I want, I don’t have the resources for it at this moment. I will eventually have the surgery done, when I go back to work (4 years, if not before). Yes its bold, but if I don’t ask I won’t get. I know that most likely someone won’t buy it…it’s like playing the lottery, if you don’t play you won’t win. Its a chance. That’s all it is. Judge me all you want because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter.

Q: You might want to try getting a non trailer-trash bitch to sell your shit, crazy asshole.

A: Merry Christmas! Thanks for looking! Thanks for the GREAT advice. I’m sure it will help, ZEUS-ALMIGHTY. How tall are you?

Finally, the original listing can be found on eBay HERE. For archival purposes, I’ve also taken a ’snapshot’ of the listing and have posted it HERE.